Obituary of Gurmeet Kaur Kahlon

Gurmeet Kaur Kahlon, beloved wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother passed away, Mercy San Juan Hospital in Carmichael, on Feb. 14, 2019, at age 87, surrounded day and night by her loving family during the final days of her life. She was born on April 12, 1931, in Chak 106, Lyallpur, Punjab, to parents Gurdial Kaur and Bakhshish Singh Athwal. Although she faced many tragedies throughout her whole life, to Gurmeet life was a gift. She had a great childhood, caring and deeply devoted father Bakhshish Singh was well educated, mother Gurdial Kaur was brilliant in all aspects of life – her opinion was highly valued by the family. Gurmeet had four brothers, Surjit, Harbhajan, Sulakhan, one twin brother, also named Sulakhan, who died as toddler when Gurmeet was less than 10 years old, it was a big loss for the family. Her father wanted the sons to be well educated, college graduates, he repeated this many time to the sons. In 1945 Surjit graduated from college with teaching credentials to teach high school English. Now he felt somewhat at ease that the family was headed in the right direction, he was simply overjoyed. Unfortunately, her father died on May 7, 1947, at age 47. It was another huge loss for the family. At the time Gurmeet was only 16 years of age, brother Harbhajan was in grade school, and Sulakhan was only 4 years of age. Just before he died in the hospital, he gave full family responsibility to his younger brother Niranjan Singh, who carried out fatherly responsibility to the letter until he passed away on April 3, 1973, at age 67. To fulfill their father’s dream, son Harbhajan became veterinarian in India, and then received post graduate education, mid-1970s, in veterinary medicine at UC Davis, and became a successful veterinarian surgeon in California; and the youngest son Sulakhan received college admission in USA but decided to settle in UK at age 19. Although Gurmeet was a bright child, she was not allowed to go to school; those days education took back seat for girls. Even for boys education was not a priority, plowing fields and taking care of animals was top priority. A few months after her father’s death, Indian politicians decided to create two nations based purely on religious grounds. Overnight this resulted into the bloodiest violence, carnage, and migration ever recorded. Neighbors and friends found themselves enemies on religious grounds. Under the guidance of Niranjan and Surjit, Gurdial Kaur stitched pockets strategically located inside her garments to store cash and land deeds. Once money and documents were transferred into the pockets, she sewed another layer over the pockets to fully enclosed them. Now it was Surjit’s duty to protect the notes and the papers from the thugs, and from getting wet with the rain water or urine, the sewn pockets were near the private body parts. During the migration, in additions to atrocities, the whole Punjab was flooded from the heavy, relentless monsoon rains, one of the worst floods recorded in history. After two generations at Chak 106, they started horrifying journey in rain back to the old village Pharala, on the way they witnessed unimaginable brutality and massacres. It is a miracle they made it safely under such adverse conditions where mothers and their daughters burn themselves to death to save honor from unthinkable crimes. This was another big setback for the family. Shortly after living in camps, they lived with Gurdial Kaur’s family in Rurka, and then finally were allotted land in Behram near their old village Pharala. With hard work and financial assistance from Gurdial Kaur’s family, the family once again became successful: Surjit taught English in Pharala, Harbhajan excelled in school and all three brothers helped Niranjan on the new farm. Almost all the neighbors on their side of the village were related, were very helpful, so the life had a good new footing. Since Gurmeet’s parents already had her engaged to Hushnak Singh Kahlon before the partition, and in order to fulfill his obligations, Niranjan started to search whereabout Gurmeet’s future in-laws were re-settled. It took about 2 years to locate them, they were allotted land in Khujala. Although brother Surjit objected, Gurmeet was married to Hushnak. Her acceptance by the mother-in-law was largely based on financial support given by Gurmeet’s family - mother and fatherly Niranjan, later on by brothers. Both her husband Hushnak, a true gentleman, and father-in-law, a well to do farmer, were very kind, loving and respectful. Her father-in-law, Gurbachan Singh, died in 1959 after long illness, both Narinder and Surinder helped Bibi (everybody calls Gurmeet as Bibi) care for their grandfather. Both daughters Narinder and Surinder were born in Behram. Surinder was born under the care of Dr. Kartar Singh at Banga. Kartar’s son, Jagjit, incidentally, was a classmate and a good friend of Mike Sohan Singh at the Charan Kawal Khalsa high school in Banga. Both sisters were raised in Behram, educated in Phagwara and Jalandhar. Surinder married Mike Sohan, and Narinder married to Jaswant Nagra. Surinder was one of the most dignified persons ever lived on earth, she unfortunately passed away on Nov. 1, 2018, at age 64, one month after celebrating 45th wedding anniversary. Her loss to the family can not be expressed in words in any spoken language. Losing her dear daughter was a big blow to Gurmeet. She lost her husband on Sept. 9, 1984, at age 54. Prior to that Gurmeet’s brother Surjit passed away on Jan. 6, 1983, at age 58. Then her brother Harbhajan passed away in July 1986, at age 47, same age their father had died. Her youngest brother also died prematurely at age 54. In addition to all these tragedies, she had a stroke about 20 years ago that left her handicap on one side. Gurmeet’s eldest son Parminder died at age 40, then another son named Surinder recently died at age 52. Gurmeet’s mother had to suffer through many of these tragedies prior to her death in 1987. The caring support from the family and the Waheguru gave them sufficient strength to live on. She was preceded in death by her parents; her daughter, Surinder Pal Kaur Singh (husband, Mike); her sons, Parminder and Surinder (wife, Shelly); and her brothers, Surjit (wife, Harbans, deceased), Harbhajan (wife, Gurdeep; son Aman, deceased), and Sulakhan (wife, Balley, deceased; daughter, Sonia, deceased). Gurmeet is survived by her daughter, Narinder Kaur Nagra (husband, Jaswant); sons, Harinder, and Harjinder (wife, Raj); grandchildren, Navi (husband, Sonny), Annup (husband, Sanjay), Rupe, Pawandeep (husband, Gurjinder), Cindy (husband, James), Natasha, Matthew, Harleen, Jasleen, and Riya; great-grandchildren, Ariyana, Shane, Michael, Sarina, Sarjen, and Avni; niece, Raman (son, Jeevin; daughter, Keeryth; husband, Gony), and niece Sonia’s sons Arun and Nikhil; and nephew, Jyothi (daughter, Clara Kaur). Gurmeet also saw a lot of positiveness in her life. Bibi emigrated to USA in 1988, and lived happily for many years with her very caring daughter Surinder and her family, husband Mike and daughters Annup, Rupe, and Cindy. Then she was cared by her sons Parminder, Harinder, Surinder and Harjinder. In the past many years, her daughter-in-law Shelly, daughter Narinder, grandchildren Navi, Pawandeep, Matthew, and Harleen provided care, company, and love that only few elders receive. Shelly always treated her with kindness and respect, she was daughter to Gurmeet. She received the best possible level of care and love. She lived to the fullest until fate took over. Despite of all tragedies she had to endure, Gurmeet had a great, great life, a wonderful life, a beautiful life, she had many moments to share laughs with her mother, husband, children, sons-in-law, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, brothers, daughters-in-law, nieces, nephews, and fatherly brother-in-law Niranjan Singh, who took full responsibility for the family. She left behind much love. She will be tremendously missed by all family members, relatives and dear friends. May the Waheguru bless her soul, and give courage and wisdom to all family members to go on living happily.